#BlackWomenAtWork
I recently wrote about Black womanhood and four separate areas that I had to traverse as I came into my own. One of those areas was being a smart Black girl and owning that identity without regret or fear. I wrote about how I had to give myself permission to be me in the classroom and not apologize for taking up space.
I had to - and still have to - make those same decisions as I navigate the "work force."
Recently, two separate incidents captured in the media sparked a movement across social media: Sean Spicer had the gall to tell April Ryan - a respected journalist, reporter and grown-af woman - to stop shaking her head when she visibly expressed her disdain at the way he answered a question she asked. Then, Bill O'Reilly made wildly inappropriate and offensive comments about Congresswoman Maxine Waters' hair. Mind you, this was after a video was shown on his news segment where Auntie Maxine was going for Trump/the right's jugular, and his response to that was, "I didn't hear a word she said... I was looking at the James Brown wig." He later "apologized" dryly, but too little too late, white pig. See... This is the type of trash that we are often reduced to - our hair and being reprimanded as if we are children.
These two incidents ignited one of my faves, Brittany Packnett, to start a hashtag on twitter: #BlackWomenAtWork. She created a space for Black women to share their experiences as professionals. It trended almost immediately. It's a simple hashtag yet I think it invoked profound solidarity among us because across all career paths, fields, industries and occupations, we ALL have had such similar experiences. I just wanted to hug each woman whose story I read. And as I read those stories, I recalled my own experiences.
In my short post-graduate career, I've had to navigate so many white and non-Black micro- and macro-aggressions.
One story that sticks out in my mind is when I was being trained by someone in a new department and another lady in that department was asking where was I from.
Me: Oh, I’m from Cincinnati. I lived in Columbus for six years before moving back home. I went to OSU and then worked for the university for 2 years.
Nosy white: (laced with shock) Oh, you graduated?
Me: .... Yes.
Nosy white: (still shocked) Oh.. wow..
It wasn't the impressed type of tone. This woman was befuddled. And after she got over the shock that a Black woman actually went against the grain (in HER mind) and somehow finessed her way to a degree from The Ohio State University, she dismissively went about her bland white business.
When my training session ended and I prepared to go back to my desk, I bid all the women in that cubicle row a pleasantry, and the same nosy white said, “BEH!” It was laced with that gross “sassy” shit they try to pin on us. I was already on my way back to my desk but immediately thought to myself, “Did she just…?" Like, you coulda just said, "See ya, Jazmine!" I think it's real cute how you reserved the "sassy" greeting for me. And then right after that, I thought (as I do far too often), I ain't e'em gon say nothin'...
I realized recently that I do a lot of overcompensating at work. I go out of my way to be nice and bubbly and remain neutral and be helpful because I think subconsciously I felt like it was up to me (like, solely) to dispel the myth of angry/aggressive/mean/attitude-havin' Black women. Like, let me be the one to prove these white perceptions wrong. But at what cost, though? I'm sacrificing my comfort and sometimes my dignity and sense of respect because I don't want to shake the table. I don't want to make white people uncomfortable, by calling them out when they make me uncomfortable. How that work?
So I made a mental declaration, after that particular interaction with the nosy white woman that seemingly had never met a Black college-educated woman, that I am no longer subconsciously accommodating white people's micro-aggressions and ugly shit. Because the gag is, Becky, they pay me the same way they pay yo ass. Why I gotta walk around on egg shells? NAH. I'll be kind and polite but I will not move out of the way, I will not be the first to say excuse me or let them get away with not saying it or not say thank you when I hold the door. I'm also not letting none of that dumb ass slick shit slide. I will confront it and voice my distaste. Every time.
When Auntie Maxine classily clapped back to O'Reilly by saying, "I am a strong Black woman and I cannot be intimidated, I cannot be undermined, I cannot be made to feel afraid…” I had a spiritual conniption because YES! We must make everyone AWARE!
So I wanted to salute my auntie and my cousins - Congresswoman Waters, April Ryan, Angela Rye, Symone Sanders, Brittany Packnett and all other Black women who have recently been in the media for taking these necessary stands. And to all my sisters in the struggle who have dealt with people asking to touch our hair, working for far less than we’re worth, being misunderstood and snubbed as we chase our respective dreams and find our way in this murky ass shit known as work - I see you.
In the words of our fearless leader, Queen Waters: We are strong Black women. We shall not be intimidated, we shall not be undermined and we shall not be made to feel afraid. You better go for that raise. You better call that becky out when she calls you "sista." Call that man out when you catch him looking at your cleavage. And unapologetically take up your space - whether that be the receptionist desk, Target register, courtroom, classroom, hospital (Shoutout to my sis Ash and both my cousins, Ash and Lay!), strip club, mechanic's shop, football field (Shoutout to my Athletic Trainer sis Reg!), studio, stage or corner office. We OUT HERE, and they will FEEL us.
